Giving This a Try
Hey there, Interwebians, My name is Gary, and I am a person in long-term recovery. I have been in recovery for almost 11 years now. If I make it till August 12th, I will claim 11 years. I would like to say that my life is all rainbows and unicorns now, but that wouldn't be the truth. My life is my life, and I live it to the best of my ability, on its own terms. I honestly do not know why I am starting this blog. My guess is that I may find it cathartic, but, my real hope is that it will help one person (if anyone ever actually reads it).
I started using substances when I was about 12 years old and I finally stopped when I was 32. I am now 43 and a single dad to a soon-to-be 14 year old daughter? I mean, I think she's my daughter. She went through a non-gender-conforming period a year ago, but I think she's my daughter again. We live in a decent, two bedroom apartment in a rent-subsidized complex in Berkshire County, Massachusetts.
My addiction started and my recovery began in the bucolic Berkshires; America's Premier Cultural Resort. As they have branded it. Or, as a few of the year-long residents full well know; America's premier cultural resort where locals can't afford anything because second and third homeowners cause sky high rents that are paired with shit-paying service jobs and there's fuck all to do but get fucked up on booze and heroin in the land where....shhhhhhh....there isn't a drug problem.
But, I digress.
Life has been a struggle since moving into this new apartment. My rent has increased by $200 dollars a month and I could barely afford the shithole one bedroom we were living in in Pittsfield. But, my kid is actually living in her school district now and she can take the bus, instead of me having to drive 80+ miles everyday just to get to and from school.
Money is ALWAYS my biggest source of stress and a constant worry. Lately, I have found out that I need a new set of tires in order for my car to pass inspection. I will literally have to use nearly my entire paycheck to make this happen. Then, I will have to ignore other bills. Make phone calls, set up payment plans...etc... But, this is a necessity and cannot be ignored. My car is vital, as I commute about 35 miles everyday to my job as a substance use disorder counselor. Without the car I have no job, without the job my daughter and I have nowhere to live, and I will be damned if she has to go back with her mother and grandmother. She chose to live with me and I will make sure she stays exactly where she is.
If you had told me ten years ago that I would eventually start writing a blog about my life in recovery, I wouldn't have imagined that I would have opened it as I just did, But, I can honestly say I am grateful for the problems that I have today. While it has taken a long time to realize that being in recovery is really nothing more than trading one set of problems for another, the problems I have today, pale in comparison to the problems I had a decade ago. I sometimes forget that I am a astounding success and that the sheer fact that I have not jammed a needle into my arm today is a monumental victory.
Oh yeah, I also found a bullseye rash on my arm a few days ago and most likely have Lyme Disease for the second time in recovery. Started doxycycline yesterday.
AWESOME.
RECOVERY!!!!!!! YAY!!!!
I started using substances when I was about 12 years old and I finally stopped when I was 32. I am now 43 and a single dad to a soon-to-be 14 year old daughter? I mean, I think she's my daughter. She went through a non-gender-conforming period a year ago, but I think she's my daughter again. We live in a decent, two bedroom apartment in a rent-subsidized complex in Berkshire County, Massachusetts.
My addiction started and my recovery began in the bucolic Berkshires; America's Premier Cultural Resort. As they have branded it. Or, as a few of the year-long residents full well know; America's premier cultural resort where locals can't afford anything because second and third homeowners cause sky high rents that are paired with shit-paying service jobs and there's fuck all to do but get fucked up on booze and heroin in the land where....shhhhhhh....there isn't a drug problem.
But, I digress.
Life has been a struggle since moving into this new apartment. My rent has increased by $200 dollars a month and I could barely afford the shithole one bedroom we were living in in Pittsfield. But, my kid is actually living in her school district now and she can take the bus, instead of me having to drive 80+ miles everyday just to get to and from school.
Money is ALWAYS my biggest source of stress and a constant worry. Lately, I have found out that I need a new set of tires in order for my car to pass inspection. I will literally have to use nearly my entire paycheck to make this happen. Then, I will have to ignore other bills. Make phone calls, set up payment plans...etc... But, this is a necessity and cannot be ignored. My car is vital, as I commute about 35 miles everyday to my job as a substance use disorder counselor. Without the car I have no job, without the job my daughter and I have nowhere to live, and I will be damned if she has to go back with her mother and grandmother. She chose to live with me and I will make sure she stays exactly where she is.
If you had told me ten years ago that I would eventually start writing a blog about my life in recovery, I wouldn't have imagined that I would have opened it as I just did, But, I can honestly say I am grateful for the problems that I have today. While it has taken a long time to realize that being in recovery is really nothing more than trading one set of problems for another, the problems I have today, pale in comparison to the problems I had a decade ago. I sometimes forget that I am a astounding success and that the sheer fact that I have not jammed a needle into my arm today is a monumental victory.
Oh yeah, I also found a bullseye rash on my arm a few days ago and most likely have Lyme Disease for the second time in recovery. Started doxycycline yesterday.
AWESOME.
RECOVERY!!!!!!! YAY!!!!
You're doing great, Garith! I'm glad you've started a blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lillith! 😁
Deletekeep writing..........one day at a time
ReplyDeleteThat's the plan. Thanks for reading and commenting :)
Delete